Yesterday I went with Momma to get new tires put on her Durango. No, I’m not blogging about tires or a Durango. When I was in the waiting area, the television happened to be tuned into The Maury Povich(?) Show. I never watch this show but didn’t have a lot of choices while waiting.
This particular episode was about un-romantic love. Being that I am a love junkie, I watched in horror as couples paraded themselves onstage to reveal if the baby-daddy was really the baby daddy or if the spouse had cheated on the other. One couple had three children and the wife had cheated on the husband shortly before each pregnancy. Thankfully each child was his, but what kind of trashy talk show would it be if that were the end of the story? They asked the wife to take a lie detector to see if she had come clean about her extra curricular activities.
Then, with much drama, she announced she really wanted to make her marriage work and felt she needed to come completely clean. With big doughy eyes she turned to her husband and said she had 3 secrets she needed to reveal so they could heal. The husband said he was ready to hear it.
**I must interrupt here with a word of warning. If your spouse tells you he/she has something to tell you but will only do so on The Maury Povich Show… run. I will say more below.
Secret #1: I lied before. <big surprise> I said I had cheated on you 3 times, but in truth it was more like 50. <what?> At this point the husband rants and screams about her keeping her legs closed and I think about how you can cheat 50 different times without your spouse having a clue.
Secret #2: I just ended a 1 year relationship 6 days ago. <surely you jest> The husband actually acts shocked and I think, “Dude! Are you really shocked after what she just told you? You are on trashy television, after all.”
Secret #3: It was with one of your best friends. <bet he’s not really one of his best friends> Again, the husband’s mouth gapes a moment before he rants more about her keeping her legs shut and I think about the level of shame these two have placed on their children.
“Now, let’s kiss and makeup.”
I honestly felt sick watching this show. For the life of me, I can’t imagine going on national television and airing my dirty laundry. Especially if it was caked with the kind of mud these couples have. I cannot fathom a justification for this sort of behavior to begin with. Yet, all of them tried to justify why they were crap. What self-respecting man or woman would do such a thing?
My conclusion: They were all dropped on their heads when they were babies. There is no other explanation. That would make them all crack-heads of the “special” variety.