If my rants upset you, click away now. They’re better than therapy and chalked full of passion and a little snark. You have been warned.
When I was young, I really thought I was an expert on everything I had ever experienced. Not only that, I thought no one else in the entire history of mankind could have experienced what I did. To an extent, that 2nd one was true. I am Diane and no one in all of history will see everything quite the way I do. I remember not understanding why older people would act upset when I tried to add my vast amounts of knowledge to their inventories. After all, I was sharing, right and people need to know how right I am, right?It made me mad and made me feel like they thought they were better than I was.
Oh, I was such a fool.
What I didn’t see then and see so clearly now is that I was insulting them. Here you have a 15 year old child trying to school a 60 year old woman on life. How rude was that? Children do not know what they are doing when they are guilty of that kind of thing. They have yet to learn how ignorant they really are or how little of life they know. And because adults were children at one time, they usually give allowances for such.
But what happens when you grow up, dedicate your life to one task and someone that is an adult also comes in and tries to impose their expertise on the subject? What if that person had zero, zilch, nadda experience in your field of expertise but insisted simply because they are human also they too know what they are talking about? I tell you, it is not like a slap, it is a doubled-fist to the jaw, with sucker-punch and a kick in the gut. And you can’t help but feel insulted, and just a little angry.
You try to maintain civility. Try to explain to the person that while they may have some idea of the subject, they can’t truly understand until the time they dedicate their life to it as well. This causes the other person to act like the know-it-all teen and mouth off that you are being unreasonable and somehow prejudice in your words.
GRRRR….This pisses me off.
What I want to say….You self-righteous, bitter, brat…get your own specialty. Stop trying to Bogart mine. There is plenty of room for you to do the same but I will not have any person take the glory from all those that have put in the time.
I know that reaction isn’t nice, but I am being honest. The instance that got me going is parenting. I have dedicated the last 20 years of my life to being a parent to my five children. Through that time, I have had to deal with several “experts” that have never been a parent (by blood or adoption) and they always look down their noses in that way that makes you want to jump up and sock them in the nose. Their “justified” defensiveness and claim that they know what being a parent is really grates me, but I usually keep my cool.
I want to ask how many times they have walked the floor for 6 hours straight with puke crusted to their shirt and rats nesting their hair. How many ear aches have they tried to soothe with a hair-dryer because your mother’s sister’s mother-in-law said it worked for her Bobby? How many band aides applied, haircuts cut, snotty noses wiped…the list goes on.
What I do tell them is that they don’t and then I get the 3rd degree about being rude and how I’ve offended them.. Oh? I’m rude, am I? I am offended that you have the audacity to proclaim you are offended. Think that through for a few minutes and then bite me.
Hard. You forgot to say hard at the end there.
LOL
Wow. I made you mad, did I? For the record, I didn’t say you weren’t an expert. I just mentioned that your expertise does not render worthless all other knowledge in the world.
Actually, you are not the one that made me mad. Neither did Andrea. It is the whole concept of someone that is not a parent getting offended because they do not hold the experience of someone that does and then being pissed about it. It’s almost like whining that life isn’t fair. My response is always the same to that. Of course it’s not. Suck it up and get on with it.
And of course my knowledge doesn’t. That is not what I said…EVER.
I’m not offended by your experience. I also wasn’t offended by your “rudeness.” But it is crappy to basically tell someone their opinions don’t matter just b/c they’re not as experienced as you. There’s a Bible verse that relates to that.
too bad it wasn’t me. I’ve always wanted an angry blog written about me.
as a writer you should understand that there’s a technical definition of words on paper and there’s a contextual one. Sure, you never said that about your knowledge, but you DEFINITELY communicated (whether or not it was your intention) to me and Andrea that our opinions were worthless b/c you have puke on your shirt.
I’m cool with it. I’m cocky too… but it is what it is.
Ha! It’s not crappy. It is the the truth that someone that has never been a parent cannot understand the entirety of being a parent. Is it better to lie and let someone believe their opinion on a topic is complete when everyone knows dang well it is NOT? Or should I continue to be insulted and disrepected by the mouthy teen that thinks he/she knows everything simply because he/she breathes? Sorry, we will have to agree to disagree on this.
We can disagree, but it’s pathetic that we must. I agree with you. I don’t know nearly as much as you about being a parent. You win.
Why can’t you acknowledge that saying, “You don’t have kids so you can’t understand” is a crappy thing to see.
We could COMPLETELY agree if you’d stop being so stubborn. (of course, then I might like you less…. hmm, dilemma!)
I am rude, aren’t I?
Dutch, trust me…it’s less than fun to be the subject of an angry blog, although if it were Diane’s at least other people would be laughing.
Di, I hear you on the parenting thing. What really gets me is when people who don’t have a clue do this to young parents who don’t yet realize they can stand up for themselves and their family boundaries.
Ha!
The thing people fail to realize or have forgotten is how hard being a new parent really is, There is a lot of pressure and judgement the parents think they have to listen to. I rejoice when I see a parent become comfortable enough in his parenting-skin to set firm boundaries.
And as far as words, I know how to use them but most readers take what they want from them no matter how much thought I place into them. That is because they have life-experience of their own. I also know some people are more sensitive than others for certain things. That is why one person can watch a movie and sob like a baby and another can watch it and simply be meh. I do not discount opinions of others. I do listen and try to understand their side. That too is important to being a writer. My guess…and this is just a guess…many people that aren’t parents have a great desire to be. They have their feelings hurt when they are not included in the parent club. I ache for them in that. But I also know that they may be blinded by that desire and be disrespectful to the many that parented before they had the desire in their hearts. Then you have the true jack-holes that have no desire to be a parent and they are just being flat-out rude. Those are the ones that anger me and I have had many a dealings with that kind. You, nor Andrea fit the jack-hole.
You’re still rude
kidding. have a good night!
Sounds like you and I have very similar experiences lately. I’m purposely not going to go to my husband’s aunt’s place for a while because of my experience about 7 weeks ago. Tough toenails for them. They need to parent their 16-year-old better. I couldn’t care less that she’s bi-polar. There’s no excuse for yelling and cussing at a 30-year-old woman who is married to your cousin… and who has a much larger vocabulary.
… and then not to apologize when THEY were the one who was WRONG is a whole other sore spot…
It’s just very frustrating.