I know. I know. Horrible title, but it got you here, right? And it really is relevant to what I am writing about today. That said, what has me using such rough talk? Nothing in particular. I have just been thinking about jealousy and how stupid it is. I’m not a jealous person. Really, I’m not. But through the years, I have come to know I am a little scrappy when it comes to certain things. One of them being my husband. I’ve invested many years and a whole lot of effort into my marriage and friendship with Quinton. We’ve been through things that would make the average couple fall apart.
Jealously comes when one has insecurities about herself. I have very few and none that would cause me to be jealous of another woman. Years ago, I came home to a single woman sitting on my couch…a neighbor known to see more than a few headboards. My husband sat across from her on the chair. I know nothing happened, but that did not stop me from very forcefully showing the skank to the door and letting her know that if I ever caught wind of her near my home again when only my husband was home that I would show her the beatdown of her lifetime.
Some might think that was jealousy. I would say they are wrong. See, I own my husband, just as he owns me. We gave ourselves to each other freely nearly 22 years ago. That woman was trying to use what is mine and that is stealing and that is a sin and that is something I just won’t tolerate.
A few years after that, a family members girlfriend came to my house wearing a shirt where everyone could see her non-existent boobs. That meant we all had a nipple show. I forcefully showed her to the door as well and told her no skank clothes allowed. I offered her a t-shirt to cover her nasty, but she had her feelings hurt. How dare I call her near nakedness in my own home. Am I mean? Am I jealous? Nope. I just have a level of standards that I will not waver on.
I am of the firm belief that God gave me the right to defend, even with violence, that in which he has blessed me with. I am of the firm belief that there are women out there that have no self-respect and surely no respect for the sanctity of marriage. I can spot them from a hundred yards away and smell the pure skankiness from two hundred yards beyond that. To them I say…
I will slap a skank.
Good for you, Diane! YOU go, girl!
My Dearest Youngest Daughter,
You are your Mothers daughter and I suffer from this very same malady. I still call it jealousy but……while I am not a run behind my husband and check up on his every move type. I will also (as you so eloquently put it,) slap a skank. My husband is apalled by my behavior at the time, and I hold no bars when this anger takes over my body. I do know that my husband is perfectly capable of taking care of things for himself, but I am also aware that if you lay yourself down like a doormat, people will undoubtably wipe their feet on you. I myself do not relish the taste of things that people have walked on. I believe that if another person enters my domain, when I am not there. Then they should respect the fact that I am not there, or suffer the consequences. Even a sales person knows this creed. If they don’t….. then God be with them.
Diane, In his book Knowing God, JI Packer talks about the righteous jealousy of God in just these terms. In the OT, the nation of Israel is the wife of God, and in the NT, the church is the bride of Christ. Our culture makes jealousy out to be a negative, but when it is about protecting a sacred relationship, it’s a positive. Of course, Packer doesn’t use the term “skank,” but the same principle applies.
My Dearest Kristen,
So True, even God himself talks about being a jealous God.
Maybe it is the negative connotation society has put on righteous jealousy that makes me say I am not jealous. I’m not insecurely jealous, but I most certainly won’t share my husband.
Packer says “there are two sorts of jealousy among humans, and only one is a vice.” He calls that one “vicious jealousy,” which is the attitude “I want what you’ve got, and I hate you because I haven’t got it.” (Which pretty much describes the tramp, now that I think about it.)
Righteous jealousy is “zeal to protect a love relationship” and is “the fruit of marital affection” and “a positive virtue.” That’s you, Di. Wear that label with pride.